


paralyzed

by kennedysfiction



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Feelings Realization, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28679385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kennedysfiction/pseuds/kennedysfiction
Summary: thomas finally realizes why he feels so numb months after newts death
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	paralyzed

**Author's Note:**

> TDC SPOILERS

a mix between movie, book, and my own imagination 

"please tommy please!" newt begged looking at his best friend. 

"I can't newt!" thomas said, tears spilling out of his eyes. his best friend wanted him to kill him. he could never kill newt. minho would kill him and that was his best friend.

"I can't and won't kill you! you're my best friend!"

thomas pushed newt off of him.

he growled. 

newt secretly took a knife out of his pant pocket. he swung the knife toward thomas, aiming for his chest. thomas fell and newt climbed over him, knife in the air and pushing it down to hit thomas. 

thomas used all his arm muscle to push away the knife, but newt was stronger. the knife went into thomas' chest a little bit. thomas screamed and kicked newt off once again. 

thomas punched him, trying to knock him out.

thomas only wanted one thing; save newt. 

they both stood up, newt being a little taller than thomas. newt began swinging the knife, trying to stab thomas. thomas stepping back, newt stepping forward. finally newt reached thomas and struck.

they stayed in a sort of hug for a few moments yet, thomas couldn't feel any pain. 

he pulled away and say newt's knife in his own chest. 

thomas' heart stopped and he started to shake.

he then looked into newt's eyes. 

they were wide open, purely black. blue and black veins covering his entire body, hair all sweaty. 

"tommy.." newt murmured before falling backwards.

"no..!" thomas said catching newt as he fell backward. 

"newt please! don't die on me. you are my best friend, I need you. please! you can't die after all we've been through." thomas begged shaking newt and looking for a pulse.

"i..i've always loved you tommy.." newt said taking one last breathe.

"NO!" he screamed. 

thomas woke up screaming. he jumped backwards. 

he had the same dream every night; when his newt died.

its been a month but to thomas, it still felt as if that tragic day happened yesterday. 

i..i've always loved you tommy.."

those words had stuck to thomas. he had wanted to say it back but, he lost newt. he loved newt, he was his best friend. 

they made it to the safe haven, but it wasn't a safe haven without newt. 

he has had panic attacks every night since then. newt wasn't there to comfort him so he'd try himself or his friends would try for him. it would take longer than newt would have. 

thomas felt numb. he hadn't shown emotion anymore and thomas knew his friends were worried. 

he pushed them away, but thomas knew they were stubborn. they wouldn't let him without a fight. thomas didn't want anyone else to die for or because of him. 

thomas had thought this feeling was normal. that people would do this after someone really close to them dies, but as he looked around the safe haven, people weren't like him. they showed emotion and thomas knew they lost people closest to them.

even the gladers were sometimes laughing, smiling, or even crying. 

if the gladers weren't feeling like this, then why did he feel this way?

thomas began thinking.

when chuck died, he showed plenty of emotion. he sobbed about his younger brother and tried to stay with him. but, he'd have a different reaction with newt because he knew him longer.. right?

then teresa died. he screamed and cried for her. but, teresa betrayed them and newt didn't. so he didn't feel numb. 

but, with newt. he felt like his world had collapsed. he felt like he'd gotten stabbed and not newt. 

it was like he couldn't breathe if newt wasn't there.

he thought of the way newt smiled, it wasn't often but, it was beautiful when he did. 

when he laughed, thomas felt his worries wash away. 

when newt touched him, whether it was a hug or hand on the shoulder, thomas felt warmth rush in his body. 

when newt was sad, thomas' whole mood changed. 

it wasn't like that with anyone else. just newt.

then, thomas' whole world spun. 

he realized he didn't just love newt no, he was in love with him. 

newt was his oxygen; being with him had him breathe.

but now he was gone. 

thomas was in love with his dead best friend. 

he figured it out too little too late.

thomas was paralyzed; he felt nothing and couldn't move.

not without newt.

"i've always loved you too newt."


End file.
